RUN AWAY ELECTRIC SEAT PROCEDURES

1. INITIAL ACTION: Determine which seat is running away. During the stress of routine operations it is possible to mistake which seat is running away. Example: If Captain's seat is out of control forward, it shall appear to the Captain that the First Officer's is running backwards. This is a common form of spatial disorientation and will only last until the Captain is emasculated on the control column. Do not disengage the autopilot at this time as a violent pitch down will result. In order to determine which seat is the run away, suggested procedure is to awaken the Flight Engineer for troubleshooting.

2. SILENCE AURAL WARNINGS: With the advent of a run away seat, crew members describe noises of a low rumbling nature followed by the words, "Jesus, my seat is out of control" followed by a piercing scream of increasing intensity and pitch, especially in cases of forward run aways. As in all emergencies and in order to comply with FAA standardization, the First Officer will silence the aural warning by clamping a hand over the Captain's mouth and advise, "Capt's mouth SHUT, SHUT". From this point on refer to the checklist, located on the underside of the Capt's seat cushion.

3. JAMMED BALLS: Should the seat run away in the forward mode, the ball bearings will interlock and jam the seat when it is 4 inches from control panel. The seat will then be stuck in the forward position and travel no further forward but begin traveling up in a vertical mode. The Capt. will advise crew, "I have jammed balls". The Engineer will immediately refer to the CAPT JAMMED BALLS Checklist located in the aft lavatory. It is imperative that the crew check for control column damage at this time. If the control column is broken. the crew will advise dispatch that the Capt. has a broken stick and jammed balls.

4. CIRCUIT BREAKER - PULL, PULL: The Engineer at this time will pull the appropriate C/B to prevent the seat from running up further in the vertical mode which could cause the bearings to overheat and possibly result in a Ball Burst. This would necessitate the use of the BROKEN BALLS Check List. Since the Engineer can rarely find the correct C/B it is suggested that any C/B be picked at random and pulled so as not to delay completion of the Check List. Example: Pull V.G #1. Capt's position will prevent him from cross checking this step.

5. FIRE CHECK - CHECK: When the seat bearings jam and stop forward seat travel, the electric motor may short out and start a fire under the Capts seat, resulting in a Capt's lower aft body overheat. The Engineer will advise the Capt. of the fire, to which the Capt will reply, "Fire my Ass".

6. SEAT UP- UP: Should the seat continue to run away in the vertical mode, the First Officer will advise "Seat UP, UP" to which the Captain will reply "Molxjrmne craxmby". Capt's reply will vary with height to which his seat has risen. It is suggested procedure to place a pillow on the Captain's head, and land at the nearest suitable airport.